You would think–even hope–that the day after I started going to the chiropractor again for the first time in almost two years that I wouldn’t throw out my back. But here we are.

My back is fucked. Of all the things that I need to unfuck, this is at the very top of my list. Without a solid lower back, I don’t have freedom. I don’t have independence. I can’t work. Fixing my back is the thing that enables me to do all of the other things.

How we got here

The x-rays from yesterday really stuck with me. My back is crooked.

Last night I had a thought: maybe if I adjusted my posture so back was straighter, that would help me heal faster. If I moved my hips as far to my right hand side as they would go, that straightened up my back pretty good. I took a two mile walk practicing that posture last night. I took a mile walk this morning. It feels uncomfortable walking like that, but I felt like there were some good parts. I’m standing taller. My back is straighter. My arms swing freely at my side. I hadn’t noticed, but I’d be willing to guess that my arms haven’t swung freely at my side for years.

And then around 2 pm, I stood up. Maybe a little too quickly. Either way I knew I was in trouble.

I’m not 100% sure if I threw my back out from trying to adjust my posture, but it was probably that. Other than the adjustment from the chiropractor I had yesterday, I haven’t lifted anything heavy or done anything substantially different in the past 24 hours. I should probably leave straightening out my back to a professional.

Dealing with a fucked back

So I’m basically an expert at dealing with my fucked back now. The most important thing is walking. Walking stretches the back out really well.

The moment I threw out my back, I knew I needed to go on a walk. I somehow managed to get my jeans on and shoved my bare feet into my shoes because there was no chance of me getting shoes on. I then walked out the door and proceded to walk around my block at a mile an hour. While leaning over sideways. In 105 degree heat. The walk loosened up my back, but it was brutal.

I returned home. I went pee. I changed out my sweaty clothes. I took a pain pill. I plugged my phone into the charger. I even put a ladder next to my bed because I knew once I laid down, I was gonna be down for awhile. I’ve gotten up once since I laid down; it was incredibly painful. I took another walk while I was up though which helped.

All things considered, my back is doing better than it usually is on the day I throw it out. I’m not sure I’m going to make my chiropractor appointment tomorrow, but we’ll see how I feel in the morning.

Normally I proofread these entries before I post them, but tonight I’m tired and I’m in pain. I’m gonna git add, git commit and git push and go to sleep. Yolo. Proofreading is for the weak. Typos are freedm.

---

Before I log off, I do want to mention that I saw I creepy brown spider climb out from under my window blinds then climb immediately back up. If it tries to kill me, I’m probably not going to be able to get away in time. I looked up to see if it was a brown reclusive, and I found a UC Riverside arachnologist who wrote a compelling and sassy article on how there are virtually zero brown recluse spiders in California and encouraged Californians to calm the heck down and stop being so dramatic.

He’s wrong: it’s a brown recluse and if I die you know why Rick Vetter. It’s probably not a brown recluse though. Unless…