I wasn’t in a great position when I left my job to become a freelance web developer in January 2017. I had three months of savings and just a tiny bit of HTML/CSS knowledge. I knew that if I couldn’t get good at web development fast and start making money, I’d have to leave Sacramento and move back home with my parents.

My first year of freelancing, I slept maybe 3 hours a night. I gained 60 pounds. It was rough. The year after that ended with me throwing my back out from sleeping on the couch too hard. I was barely able to work for six months. I drank a lot to try to manage the pain. My back has never fully recovered.

I’ve been so busy with work over the past few years that I haven’t taken care of myself. I’ve blown off everything except what’s paying the bills, and even focusing on that has felt impossible sometimes. It has taken an enormous toll on my physical and mental health.

This has gone on long enough. It’s ending now. I’m calling this process “The Great Unfucking.”

Starting the process of doing better

Outside of gaining deep competency with CI/CD pipelines, my main focus for the remainder of 2021 is unfucking myself. Catching up with my non-work responsibilities. Doing all of the chores I’ve blown off.

This week was the beginning. I’ve started the process of getting enrolled in Medi-Cal now that I’m unemployed. I got new car insurance. I’m backing up my computer for the first time in over 200 days.

I also went to the chiropractor for my back. I was going to a chiropractor when I lived in Sacramento, but when I moved to Bakersfield I decided that I’d postpone my treatment until I had a full-time job. By the time I had a full-time job, the world was in the middle of a full-blown global pandemic, and the risk of bringing COVID home to my parents seemed to high to be worth the benefits of chiropractic treatment. So I postponed it until this week.

When the chiropractor looked at my x-rays, he said, “No wonder you’re in pain.”

I looked. My spine is crooked. Leaning Tower of Pisa crooked. It’s bad.

I said, “Dang, let’s get that fixed!” He said, “We’ll… see what we can do.”

The chiropractor’s response was less encouraging than I’d hoped, but at least he’s not sugar coating it. I had my first adjustment today and I feel no different than I did before. Hopefully it gets better with time.

Onward

Next up on my list for the Great Unfucking is a haircut (I haven’t had one since November 2019), cleaning my room, getting my teeth cleaned, getting a check-up from an actual doctor, and losing a bunch of weight.

I hate all of this. But this may be the one opportunity I ever have in my life to work on this without worrying about work. There’s lots to do. Hopefully at the very least I can straighten out my back.